She Was Special

I met a girl once. Never dated her. Only talked to her a couple of times. Probably spent no more than 1 hour total in her presence. She had a boyfriend/fiance. But when I was near her and we talked to one another I felt something. Like being plugged into a light socket. For at least 1 hour or more after I had been near her I couldn’t sit or think straight and I lost my appetite.

It’s been at least 4 years since I last saw her. I’ve moved twice (across the world) – I’ve traveled for months through Europe. I’ve met well over 100 women; many of them more physically attractive than this girl. But haven’t again had that feeling. Nothing even close.

I don’t idolize her at all. I’m rational and I know she is made of flesh and blood and perhaps she has habits that I would dislike. It is just as likely she might not fancy me. But I want that feeling again. More than almost anything. I’ve spent an enormous amount of time looking for another woman (preferably available) that can make me feel that way.
The bad news is learning guitar won’t help on that quest (I play quite well, have done for over 13 years and I practice about 5 hours a week right now). Nothing except luck will. Or fate. I almost want to believe in a Christian type God or karma just to add some hope to my search. Now that I know what kinds of feelings are possible I just can’t settle for less.